36. Go to at least seven concerts or plays (1/7)

Journey Ticket
Originally uploaded by Marni Molina

A friend took me to see Journey, Heart, and Cheap Trick a couple weeks ago. Though it wasn't a concert that I would have chosen, she needed a chaperone and I ended up recognizing most of the songs and really enjoying myself.

Rock on!

28. Clean out 101 items from my home and donate or sell them (1/101)

Purple Pixie Top
Originally uploaded by Marni Molina

I've been considering where to start with the task of culling the herd of stuff in my home and I finally settled on the closet.

This used to be one of my favorite tops and I haven't been able to fit into it in years. I've held onto it this whole time thinking that it would motivate me to lose weight but all I've really been doing is torturing myself with it. It was the perfect item to kick-off my 28th note to self.

I spent this past weekend in Denver, CO at a spiritual retreat. Each time the group I am studying with gathers, we hold a raffle of donated items to raise funds for those participating in the group that may need financial assistance. So, I donated my beloved purple pixie top to the raffle with the hope that it would find the perfect new owner.

More importantly, along with the top I let go of my tendency to self-flagellate over allowing myself to gain more weight than I am comfortable carrying. I'm now choosing to transform that energy and use it to get healthy, instead.

The woman that hosted me while I was in Denver was an extremely gracious and nurturing hostess with a fabulous sense of style that echoed my own. In fact, we had wardrobe synergy the entire weekend, individually dressing ourselves in very similar clothing. Over the course of the long weekend, we each ended up wearing black and red corset tops, clothing adorned with skulls, and black pinstripe capris. Each day we were delighted at the coincidences.

When it came time to draw the winning ticket in the raffle, she won my top and I was delighted. Now I really do feel as though the top will have a new life with someone who will love and appreciate it as much as I once did. I also feel wonderful having been able to contribute, in a small way, to raising funds for my fellow students. Lastly, I'm relieved to have let go of the idea that I will ever be that small again. I may never again be a size 6, but I'm dead sexy, dammit. And I am reclaiming my body and recreating healthy relationships with it and with the food I eat.

I feel great.

I have been dreading this goal but I now believe cleaning out 101 items from my home and either donating or selling them will be a liberating and empowering experience.

99. Compile a BOSish collection ...

... of liturgy and information customized to my current spiritual practice

I started this one the other day.  I have a feeling it's going to take a lot of work so I'm going to try to throw a good chunk of time at it whenever possible.  When I'm "finished" (though I might never finish this sort of project since my spiritual practices seem to be constantly evolving) I'm thinking of self-publishing it as a family heirloom.  

5. Get down to a size 16

My goal date is looming (July 18) and I'm not sure I'm going to make it.  Though I've lost about 15 pounds since setting this goal on May 6, I'm feeling thoroughly disappointed with myself about the possibility of not actually getting into a size 16 when my goal date arrives.

I'm not sure what to do about it.  I'm going to sit with it today and see what comes up.  But right now, I'm feeling pretty down.

15. Eat only raw foods for a week.

Done!  And it wasn't nearly as difficult as I imagined it would be.  I even got The Husband to do it with me.  You can read all about my adventures in raw eating in my vegan blog.  I posted recipes for just about everything I ate including...

• Creamy Cantaloupe Milk
• Mango Cherry Smoothie
• Carrots and Currants Salad
• Creamy Avocado Herb Dressing
• Chocolate of the Gods
• Sweet Summer Corn and Squash
• Oil-Free Vinaigrette 
• Edamame Hummus Dip

Plus other pics of some of the raw whole foods I ate and an end-of-week wrap up with a review of the book I used for most of the recipes I used.

I enjoyed it so much, I'm going planning in incorporate more raw foods in my diet from now on.

5. Get down to a size 16

I've been feeling really ... ample ... lately.

I swear, I must be one of the only fat vegans on the planet.  Seriously now, when you conjure the image of a vegan in your mind, don't you think of someone fit and trim?  Moby.  Gillian Anderson.  Joaquin Phoenix.  Jennifer Connelly.  Tobey Maguire.  Emily Deschanel (the chic from Bones).  These are the bodies that come to mind when pondering what a typical vegan looks like because these people are vegan.  

  

Then there's size 18-wearing me.  I'm starting to get the feeling people don't believe me when I tell them I'm vegan.  I'm sick of feeling large and so totally not in charge.  Granted, I'm insulin resistant with PCO, which makes it extremely difficult for me to lose weight.  But it's not impossible.  For me it's all about eating smart and exercising regularly.  I have to do both.  I'm grabbing the reigns and slowing this ride down.  

  

I'm officially setting a date to reach this goal:

  

I will be a size 16 by July 18 (my next trip to Denver).

  

That is all.

41. Do something to surprise my husband at least once a month

My surprise for my husband for April was a special meal.  When he and I honeymooned in Hawaii, we fell in love with a dish there called Loco Moco.  Since we've gone vegan, he and I both thought we'd never eat Loco Moco again, but I surprised him by figuring out a way to veganize it.  Read all about how I did it and see pictures of the final results in the post entitled Vegan Loco Moco over at my vegan blog.

So ... 41. Do something to surprise my husband at least once a month (1/33)